A Clarification

I’m feeling better, and I’m all ready to start posting. First, we need to clear up some things regarding items in my office.

Hippo and Friends

The creature in the middle of this photo is not a hamster. He is not a potato. He is a hippo, one with the imaginative name of Little Hippo, a.k.a. Mister Hippo. He took it from the first story in my first grade reader, the classic “Little Hippo” by somebody or another. I’ve had him since I was five, but now refer to him as “the Hippo.”

True, the Hippo has no legs. He has never had legs. Lest one feel sorry for him, he has compensated for it by his ability to control the minds of lesser beings. Upon witnessing him for the first time, people respond with overwhelming cries of how adorable he is, or with an unaccountable unease or suspicion. There is no middle ground with the Hippo.

To prevent the spread of the Hippo’s malign influence, he is accompanied by two other figures. The one on the left is a plush Cthulhu. Do not consider him as a silly distraction from roleplaying games; he should be considered in this context as possessing all of the malignity and alienness of Lovecraft’s original creation. Even he, however, realizes the threat the Hippo poses to all terrene and extraterrene sentience, and he is ever vigilant against it.

On the right is a hippo with legs. The presence of such a creature immerses the Hippo in never-ending cycles of doubt and self-loathing, effectively immobilizing him until he somehow obtains therapy. This is for your own good.

If anyone thinks I’m kidding, please note the lack of piles of paper in the picture. The fact that the Hippo is the only element of my office not covered with articles, meeting notes, or other assorted documents is prima facie evidence of a supernatural influence.

New Testament posts, new Averoigne, book reviews, etc., coming up shortly.

Published in: on February 8, 2008 at 2:10 am  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wow….

    ….slow night at work, eh?

    *backs away slowly*

  2. Please tally my vote in the column marked “adorable.”

    And the hippos are darling, too.

    *twinkle twinkle*

  3. I cried because I had no Cthulhu slippers until I met a hippo that had no legs.

  4. […] Little Yig came out for a brief while, under the overprotective guardianship of her dad.  The hippo, now freed from his imprisonment, swathed himself in a couple socks and appeared as a […]

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