The Cult of Cthulhu forum was open to the public again, so I decided to stop by and check up on Darrick Dishaw and his group.
Many religious groups seek to expand their influence by canvassing door to door, or distributing leaflets, or by writing books. The Cult of Cthulhu spends much of its outreach on posting to Internet forums, being ejected, and returning to their own boards to proclaim triumph at their cleverness in getting booted and to dream of revenge against those who ejected them.
“But Dan,” you might ask, “Why would they want to take revenge on people who were instrumental in giving them triumph?” Clearly you’re missing the big picture: it saves them from having to actually talk to people and convert them, which is the boring part of expanding an organization. Given that it’s also the part that causes an organization to expand, it’s not really that effective.
By this time, however, Darrick’s masterful strategy has run into a slight snag, insofar as he’s been banned from most of the relevant Internet forums on which he could have posted. This is a dangerous situation, as it makes Darrick incapable of making himself stronger by annoying people.
The latest indignity came with being ejected from a Gurdjieff forum. The moderators foiled his plans to infiltrate the group by doing the unexpected – actually clicking on the link in Darrick’s profile! Darrick was quick to defend himself his case:
this is the definition of religion (found on the internet): a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe…
to ban us because of your negative impression concerning certain buzz words like “Satan” or “Cult”, denies us our humanity.
Sadly, not even quoting the Internet could save Darrick’s forum account – and, by extension, his humanity.
Thus did Darrick post on his forum a list of volunteer positions, including recruiters, editors, web developers, advertisers, public relations officers, and a final category:
Instigator – incites enthusiasm, gets people talking, arguing… a provocateur and rabble-rouser.
Darrick went on to state the expectations of this position:
Instigators will find fertile ground in places that have a high volatility ratio… or places that already despise us, like the 600 club forum, Satannet, and Yog-Sothoth.com
As this is the only position on the list that does not require specialized knowledge, such as how to interact with others, it is naturally the only one that has been filled. The first person therein is B’Lahk’Neeth, who impressed Darrick with his ability to lie to people about an upcoming Cult event for no good reason. His acceptance speech:
where do begin? oh my many-tentacled god, im going to fucking rock at this. i was BORN for this! if i can do one thing well, its using words, especially those written, to shut down and demoralize people. always had the knack. this is gonna be fuckin FUN!
B’Lahk’Neeth seems to be a good choice – after all, who can deny his ability to use words, especially those written? I have faith that someday the world might even tremble at his mastery of punctuation, capitalization, and complete sentences.
Nonetheless, the position of Instigator calls for more than this. He must also be a master of psychology, able to detect the chinks in his foe’s mental armor. He must exploit these to the fullest, gaining intuitive knowledge of a person’s very essence. In short, he must play his opponent’s mind like a harp, using his deep insight into their personality to destroy them.
interest, even superfan devotion to HPL does not presuppose any interest in the occult whatsoever, for a prime example look to all those fucking tools on the yog-sothoth forums. yeah i mean YOU, dan harms!
We’re doomed. No question about it.