Darrick Dishaw vs. the Church of Satan, Part 1

It’s come to our attention that Darrick Dishaw, High Priest of the Cult of Cthulhu, has unveiled a new website.  Merely viewing its contents will lead to drastic consequences, and the whole will eventually catapult him and his followers toward godhood!  The world will tremble in fear of its awesome might!

So, I’m going to ignore it for the time being and talk about something that he no longer links to on his site.  As he says,

some of the most outdated material, in regards to aesthetics and substance, from 3 years ago has been cut.

Much as I appreciate Darrick’s desire to remove all that pesky substance from his site, some of it is just funny.  Thus, in the interests of history, I present Darrick’s infamous encounter with the infamous Church of Satan!

It was shortly after Walpurgisnacht (May Eve) of 2005.  Darrick Dishaw had had a moderate success with his Cthulhu One convention, which had many enthusiastic attendees not numbered among those he had tried to kill with black magic.  Emboldened by his success, Darrick decided to approach the Church of Satan, the oldest Satanic organization on the planet, and asked them for a favor:

even though the Cult of Cthulhu is its own thing, i would like it to be recognized as a Church of Satan grotto.

A “grotto” is a local branch of the group.  That’s just the tip of what he wanted, though:

i would also like to consider the Church of Satan as an affiliated branch of the Cult of Cthulhu.

That’s right.  Darrick wanted his Cult to be part of the Church, and he wanted the Church to join his Cult!

How does that work?  Damned if I know, and apparently Darrick didn’t have a clue, either.

Still, he did identify one slight flaw with his brilliant plan:

of course, the CoS has been around for almost 40 years and the CoC has been official for about 4 days, so i don’t want to be presumptuous. 

How did it go?  Find out later!